The Alcohol Experiment
by Anzhela D Asura
Summary: When the Straw Hat Pirates start acting strangely subdued, Robin decides that it is her duty to return them to normalcy. And how does she do that exactly? With ethanol! Robin, Nami and Zoro get to see first-hand what the influence of alcohol does to the rest of the crew. Twoshot. COMPLETE.
1. PART 1

**The Alcohol Experiment**

* * *

Robin sipped her tea and surveyed the Straw Hat crew over the rim of her mug. All eight other members seemed strangely subdued; _quiet_, even. It was unnerving.

Luffy was sat slumped on his chair, swinging his signature hat around on his finger, Zoro was, as always, snoring softly, his arms folded behind his head as he leaned against Sunny's railing. Usopp and Chopper were involved in a rather half-hearted game of cards, heads leaning against their palms. Sanji danced around the kitchen – like always- but even _he _looked tired. Franky, as far as Robin knew, was doing some repair work elsewhere while Brook dejectedly hummed Binks' Sake.

Robin glanced back to look at Nami, who seemed to be counting her Beli, an almost hourly affair. But she had none of the usual excitement and relish as she piled up the coins and flicked through the notes.

Something had to be done. And Robin was going to be the one to do it.

* * *

The next evening, Robin spottted her chance as Sanji swung out of the galley and shouted:

"Nami-swaaan! Robin-chwaaan! Your divine cuisine is almost prepared!" to Nami and Robin, while to the male remainder of the crew, he yelled: "Oi, five minutes untill dinner you bastards!"

Robin allowed a small smile to grace her lips at her crew's strange mannerisms. It was times like this when she thought back to before she had met them, and wondered how she had ever lived on.

As Sanji stomped out of the galley holding a bucket of water for "Nami-swan's special post-dinner bath", Robin seized the opportunity. As Sanji passed the still slumbering Zoro, she muttered "Dos Fleur", blooming a delicate hand underneath the bucket. Before Sanji even noticed, the hand grabbed the side of the bucket and yanked sharply, unbalancing the bucket and spilling the scalding hot water all over Zoro, who jumped up, swearing loudly and drawing Wadō Ichimonji in a smooth motion.

Sanji stepped back, looking almost guilty for a second, but hastily adjusted his expression into one of anger.

"You bastard Marimo! You tripped me up on purpose!"

Zoro looked incredulous, "Me? What kind of shitty cook falls over someone's legs?"

And with that, Sanji attacked swiftly, with an axe kick trained on Zoro's head, but blocked by the flat side of Wadō Ichimonji. Robin watched their fight for a few more seconds before sneakily slipping through the open door to the galley. She had noticed that while their fights were almost back to daily, Sanji tended to avoid Zoro's torso, as to not aggravate the wounds inflicted by Kuma on Thriller Bark. She could understand why, after hearing the account of those two eyewitnesses.

Tuning her thoughts back to the present, Robin approached the large saucepan of soup, that night's side dish. Swiftly and smoothly, she took out the small bottle of ethanol from her pocket and emptied it into the saucepan. Done.

Robin gave a smile of satisfaction as Sanji stumbled back into the galley to refill the bucket, muttering insults under his breath.

"Damn swordman- Shit, need to stop thinking about Thri-" Sanji cut himself up as he noticed Robin leaning against theworksurface next to the sink.

"Ah Robin-chan, my apologies. I didn't see you," he atoned, startled.

"No matter, cook-san. I was just ensuring that your soup did not burn while you were out fighting swordsman-san," Robin replied easily.

Sanji opened his mouth to reply, but before he could utter a word, he was interrupted by a shout, similar to that of a war cry of: "MEAAATT!"

Sanji was barely able to move out of the way before a cannon of rubber shot through the galley door, heading straight for the cooling meat.

"Oi, Luffy. Sit down and shut up. The ladies- of course- must always be served first."

The captain of the Straw Hat pirates pouted, but did as Sanji asked and slumped into the chair. Seconds later, the remainder of crew- bar Nami- enthusiastically barellled in, eager to eat. Robin frowned, firstly at the energetic crew, who seemed a lot more hyper than the previous day. Secondly at the lack of the navigator.

Nami, however, was standing just outside, frowning as she looked over at where Zoro and Sanji had fought. Hidden slightly by the shadow of Sunny's railing, but unmistakably present, was a single petal of Sakura, the flower which Robin's extra limbs always errupted into.

Why would Robin have caused those two to fight- well, that was what Nami assumed she had done? Robin knew that Zoro's wounds from the Shichibukai were not anywhere near fully healed. Nami shrugged it off as one of Robin's insane and morbid antics, and went to collect her dinner.

* * *

Back inside the galley, all nine Straw Hats were eating, and Robin noticed that Nami eyed her with a little suspicion, perhaps due to her avoiding the soup. Robin looked around the table with anticipation, looking forward to seeing the crew's reaction to the ethanol in the soup.

First up was Luffy, who – as usual – just grabbed his plate and tipped the liquid down his throat in one go. He immeadiately started coughing, but continued tearing apart the meat on his plate with gusto, and even stretched his arms to steal an unsuspecting Usopp and Chopper's dishes, both of whom also poured the spiked soup into their mouths.

Chopper grimaced at the unusual taste while Usopp gulped down a drink to try to purge the bitter liquid from his mouth.

"Sanji, what the hell did you put in this soup?" Usopp gasped, wiping his mouth. Sanji raised his visible eyebrow and quickly tried some of his own, grimacing as it went down his throat.

"I- I don't know, it was just the normal Elephant Tuna soup..." he trailed off, before glancing at Brook and Franky.

"What about you two, can you taste anything weird?"

"I- I'm not sure, Sanji-san. It does have a most perculiar taste that tickles my tongue- oh, but being a skeleton, I have no tongue! Yohohohoho!"

"Ah, I wouldn't know, Sanji-bro. Now I'm a cyborg I can't really taste anything anymore," Franky grinned, taking another swig of cola.

Nami frowned, putting the pieces together slowly. Robin caused Sanji to fight Zoro, went into the galley and now the soup tasted strange? That was too much to be a coincidence. Although she knew that it was most likely a bad idea, Nami sipped her own soup, which tasted like very strong booze, but not repulsive. Nami's eyes widened as she recognised what Robin had done. She'd spiked their soup with some kind of strong alcohol, most likely with the intention of getting them all drunk!

But what Nami didn't understand was _why _? Why bother?

Well, Nami thought with a grin, that might work on those fools in the crew with weak alcohol tolerance, but the navigator wasn't planning on letting up easily. With a flourish, she glugged back the rest of the soup, shuddering, but holding onto her grin. She glanced over at Zoro, the other in the crew with a high tolerance for alcohol, and noted with satisfaction that he too, had finished his soup and was now throwing back bottles of sake, not looking the least bit drunk.

The same could not be said, however, for Luffy who was swaying his head from side to side, looking like he was about to fall asleep. Usopp was rubbing his throat and reting his head on one palm while Chopper seemed to be the opposite, almost hyper. He bounced up and down in his seat, eyes with an almost manic look in them.

Robin narrowed her eyes as she looked over at Franky, Nami and Zoro. Seeing as Franky was a cyborg, it seemed unlikely that alcohol would affect him. What a shame. But then, Robin was struck with an idea. Perhaps getting him to _drink _it wouldn't work, but switching it with the cola in his stomach compartment might just work. However, in order to do this, the other Straw Hats must be out of the room, lest they figure out what was going on. Although, Robin noted, as she glanced over at Nami, it might be a little too late for that.

Nami and Zoro were another problem. Due to their inhuman alcohol tolerance, even undiluted ethanol wouldn't have much of an effect.

Robin carefully considered her options, before deciding that the best thing to do was simply help them rein in the rest of the crew once the ethanol took full affect. If she pretended that she didn't know what was going on either, Nami might just accept it.

Well, this was going to be amusing.

* * *

First thing was first, get the rest of the crew out of the room so that she could swap Franky's cola for ethanol.

"Ah, delicious. Thank you cook-san, but I must retire for the night," Robin smiled, opening the galley door.

"Nooo probleem Robin-chwaaan," Sanji slurred, collapsing into a near-by chair.

The others followed Robin out, as planned.

"Ah, Franky-san, it is your turn for dishes tonight, is it not?"

Franky started to shake his head, remembering that tonight was Chopper's turn, but stopped as he noticed the reindeer, who was holding two dinner knives and grinning like a serial killer. The tomato juice that he had spilled down himself did nothing to subdue that image.

"Yeah, sis, I think you're right," he said, hastily departing. Robin checked for Nami and Zoro around her, the former having safetly sealed herself in the gils' cabin and the latter who was now training in the Crow's Nest, and quickly followed Franky.

"Sis, why are yo- mmph!"

Franky was interrupted by a delicate hand sealing his mouth shut and another spawning on his chest and pulling open the stomach compartment. As swiftly as possible, the cola was exchanged for a second bottle of ethanol (obviously from Robin's secret supply. What? How do you think she stayed so calm all the time?).

After the compartment was slammed shut and the hands were nothing but dancing sakura petals, Robin left the galley again, ensuring that Sanji had been well out of the way for the incident.

From the window of the girl's cabin, Nami watched Robin emerge from the galley, smiling with staisfaction. There was doubt about it. Robin had spiked their drinks, and the only reason that Nami could imagine Robin doing such a thing for was simply to see their reactions.

_Well that's all well and good for _you _Robin, _Nami thought, _but I _really _don't want to find out what Luffy's like drunk. Or any of the others, for that matter._

And that was exactly it. The Straw Hat Pirates were said to be one of the most insane and diverse crews out there, and Nami _really _didn't want to imagine what the influence of alcohol would do to amplify that.

Nami sighed and unlocked the door. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Robin glanced over as Sanji stumbled out of the galley. It looked like he was going to be the first one. The cook looked bad, hair ruffled, but not exposing his hidden eye and the visible one looked to be slightly blood-shot. He seemed to be heading her way, so she stepped out of the way, her smile widening as Sanji continued walking past her, eyes now fixed on Zoro, who was in his usual position against the Sunny's railing.

Robin almost laughed as Sanji shook Zoro's arm in a vague and fruitless attempt to wake him up.

"Robin-chwan. Robin-chwan please wake up. I have something to say," Sanji moaned, his voice still slurred, but easily comprehenseable.

Well, this was most certainly interesting. It seemed that the cook was hallucinating.

Zoro opened one eye to look at Sanji: "What the hell, love-cook? I guess you really have lost it."

The sworsman shook off Sanji's grip and stood up, but was blocked again by the love-sick cook.

"No..." Sanji muttered trembling, "Please just let me say it, Robin-chwan."

"What? I'm not Robin, dartboard. Now piss off."

"No! Please. I- I- I love you!"

Zoro stared in shock and horror at the cook. And then he started to laugh.

"Oh god, you really have lost it, haven't you. Oi, woman. Any idea what happened to him?" Zoro asked.

Trying to recover from the shock of _Zoro _actually _laughing, _Robin hastily replied: "I believe their dinner was spiked with some kind of hallucinogenic, swordman-san."

Zoro narrowed his eyes and was about to reply, but was cut off by Sanji, who was clumsily getting down on one knee, and staring up into the irrate swordsman's face.

"I... I know that it is early in our relationship, Robin-chwan. But... I fear that if I do not ask now, I may never have the courage. So... WILL YOU MARRY ME?" Sanji screamed the last four words to the heavens, while Robin let out something akin to a giggle and Zoro turned bright red.

"Oi- woman. This is nothing to laugh at. We- we need to change him back as soon as possible!" Zoro stuttered, trying to maintain his dignity- and failing.

"Of course, Zoro-san. Perhaps we should leave him alone for a while and check on the rest of the crew?" she suggested, barely supressing a smile.

Zoro nodded and the two most sane members of the crew set off to look for their drunken shipmates.

* * *

"Chopper-san! I have a joke for you!" Brook shouted enthusiastically, flourishing his bow at the small reindeer, who was holding two large scalpels and stabbing them repeatedly into the pillow of the infirmary bed.

"Why do chickens fly?" Brook asked, swinging back and forwards on the chair, "Because they have _wings_!"

The musician laughed loudly, and stared dejectedly around as no-one joined him in his laughter.

The infirmary was a mess. Chopper had been systematically destroying every pillow within his reach, allowing the feathers to cover the room. Scalpels and other surgical impliments were scattered across the floor, and Brook's violin was lying on the bed, two of the strings broken. Barely noticable was Usopp, who was curled up in the corner of the room, rocking backwards and forwards as he sniffed loudly.

"Why? Why do I live? No-one cares about me. What a lame dream, brave man of the sea. I wish I was a dead leaf, because then I wouldn't need to use metaphors to explain how I feel!" the sniper choked out, sobbing uncontrollably.

Brook listened to Usopp's monologue, before picking up his violin and playing the sad rendition of Bink's Sake, out of tune and with missing notes, due to the broken strings.

This of course, made Usopp even sadder, and soon both musician and sharpshooter were wailing in harmony, while Chopper grinned sadistically and practiced his knife throwing on the opposite wall.

Seconds later, the door swung open to reveal Zoro and Robin, both of whom observed the room with horror and amusment.

"AH! No, the light of the day burns my blackened soul!" Usopp cried, not realising that it was actually _night_.

Zoro rolled his eyes and jumped out of the way of a scalpel that flew by dangerously close to his ear and impaled itself in the white plaster wall.

"Chopper, what the hell?"

The reindeer in question laughed manically before gathering up as many sharp instruments as he could and hurling them at the swordsman.

Zoro ducked, feeling one cut into his cheek and another on his forehead, but the rest safetly implanted in the wall. He looked up to see Chopper struggling against a number or arms that pinned him down.

"Ah, thanks wom- I mean, Robin," Zoro said, scraping a hand through his short green hair.

She nodded and started tying up Chopper with some thick ropes- wait, where did she get the ropes? Eh, it was Robin. She would proably justify keeping ropes with her by saying 'you never know when you might need to tie someone up'.

Brook didn't seem to pose much of a danger, as he was now sobbing and hugging Usopp, who was blubbering uncontrollably and gasping out angsty poetry.

Even so, Robin took the precaution of tying each of their wrists to a nearby object.

Well, she was certainly enjoying this experiment so far. It seemed that ethanol affected Usopp in a way similar to Perona's negative hollows would to anyone else, while the effect it had on Chopper was- well. Quite disturbing. Sanji, Brook, Usopp and Chopper down, which meaned that since Zoro and Nami would not be affected, it was just Franky and Luffy to go.

As Zoro and Robin emerged back on deck, the first thing that they noticed was the mast- or well, _lack _of half of the mast. The priceless wood had been burnt, and was now barely standing. In fact, the only thing preventing it from toppling over was Luffy, who was still asleep, but tied and wrapped aroung the mast in a futile attempt to fix it.

The culprit was standing a little way behind, blue hair messed up and hanging limply.

"Burn, baby, burn!" The cyborg shouted, fire errupting from his mouth. "Whoo! The amazing, the SUPAHHHH! FRANKY!"

Franky almost toppled over as he pressed his forearms together in his signiture pose. "Oops, almost tripped!" he laughed, as he swayed.

What was most shocking though, was that Franky had- well, disregarded his already scant clothing in favour of... absolutely nothing, and now stood stark naked in front of them both.

"Oh great. Robin, can you sort him out?" Zoro muttered, turning away.

"With pleasure," Robin replied, advancing towards the cyborg.

"No, not you! Please, I'll do anything you ask! Don't take them!" Franky begged. Robin smiled in satisfaction and flung his speedos – which had been lying on the other side of the deck – to him. He hastily put them on and Robin quickly tied him up with the rope. Quickly, while Zoro's back was still turned, the archeaologist removed the ethanol from his stomach and inserted the cola back in before knocking him out with the empty bottle.

"Well, he's out for the night," Zoro observed as he turned back. "But there's something I've been meaning to ask you. If this was a drug, why weren't me and you affected, and why is Franky acting strange when it should have had no effect?"

Robin, who had been hoping that Zoro really was as unobservant as he liked to let on, cursed in her mind.

"I don't know, swordman-san. Perhaps Nami might know something about it."

Zoro nodded, still looking slightly suspicious.

"She's lying!" Nami called as she finally emerged from the cabin, "She was the one who spiked our soup, with some kind of strong alcohol."

Zoro's eyes widened in realisation and rested his hand on Wadō Ichimonji for a second, then letting it slip off. Robin, who noticed this, felt slightly hurt. Did he still not trust her, not even after Enies Lobby? No, she decided, it was the First Mate's job to protect the crew, even if it meant suspecting the people close to them. Especially after Thriller Bark, Robin could fully understand.

"It seems you discovered my little experiment, navigator-san."

"Experiment?" Nami echoed.

"Yesterday, you all seemed rather quiet. I only wished to return the normalacy, although I do admit that some of the reactions were an extra bonus."

Zoro scowled, "That may be so, but Franky's gonna kill you once he sees the mast. And Luffy."

"Luffy?" Robin inquired.

Zoro nodded towards the captain, "Look at his hat."

Robin approached the mast and examined the Straw Hat, which was slightly singed at one end. A wave of guilt crashed down on her. It was easily fixable, but could have just as easily been not. She had wanted to cheer the crew up, not destroy the things most precious to them.

"I'll mend it," Nami offered, but Robin shook her head.

"I should, it was my fault after all."

She took the hat carefully off Luffy, and headed straight to the girls' cabin. Nami nodded Zoro good night, and followed her in. Sighing, the swordsman lay back against the railing, hoping to all god that this whole ordeal was over. Sadly, it seemed that God hated him- or at least enjoyed watching him suffer.

* * *

It was around four hours later when Luffy finally awoke. And he was _not _in a good mood. First of all, he was tied so tightly around the mast that it took him almost twenty minutes to unwrap himself, and when he had escaped, the mast creaked precariously. Most importantly, however, was the missing weight of his beloved straw hat on his head, and the lack of it on the deck, either.

Zoro, however, was there, and in his angry and clouded thoughts, Luffy came to the conclusion that the only one eho could've taken it was Zoro.

"Zoro!" he practically growled, "Why did you take my hat?!"

Zoro opened his eyes, startled, but not really surprised. He figured that it would be just his luck to get stuck with dealing with drunk Luffy, and now, even worse, angry Luffy.

"It wasn't me, just calm down and you'll get it back in the morning," Zoro tried, knowing his attempt would be futile.

Now, if Luffy had been in his right mind, he would have seen reason and trusted that his friend was telling the truth. As it was, Luffy was _not _in his right mind, and drew back one arm, prepared to attack.

_Shit, not again,_ Zoro thought. He'd fought with Luffy before, but their fights had always been interrupted before either could do lasting damage. Since Nami and Robin would be the only ones sober enough to restrain them, and the girls' cabin was soundproof, it didn't look like there would be much chance at rescue.

He drew Sandai Kitetsu and Shūsui, for now, leaving Wadō Ichimonji in her sheath. Tying on his bandana, he drew back into a protective stance, while Luffy readied his attack.

"Gomu gomu no... Pistol!"

A rubber fist flew towards the swordsman, who stepped aside easily, noting the slower pace and guessing that the alcohol did nothing to help Luffy's speed or strength. As the arm zoomed back into place, Luffy swayed, looking thouroughly disorientated, but even so, started stretching both arms back.

Unfortunately for Luffy, Zoro had seen him fight numerous times and immediately recognised it at a 'Gomu gomu no Bazooka', and so when the rubber-man's open palms sped towards him, Zoro was easily able to duck and trap his wrists using his katana, preventing him from retracting his arms.

Unfortunately, this was a rather bad decision as instead of his arms flying back, Luffy's body flew to _him, _barely giving Zoro time to let go and move out of the way.

Luffy landed on his hands and knees, snarling like a wild animal, and stood back up, pressing one fist to the ground.

"Gear... Second!"

Zoro gritted his teeth in annoyance as the rubber started to pump blood around Luffy's body at an increased rate, causing his skin to glow.

The swordsman was barely able to leap out of the way when the next attack flew around, vastly faster. He tried to remember the evading techniques that he had used against Kaku, as Gear Second was based off the CP9's Rokushiki.

_Damn you woman, _Zoro thought impatiently, _if it wasn't for your little 'experiment', none of this would even be happening!_

He didn't have time to dwell on that thought, however, because a second later, a rubber leg swung around in an attempt to whack him off the ship.

He knew that if he wanted to, he could easily beat Luffy in his weakened state, but not without causing damage, and that, Zoro wanted to try to avoid. His best option would be to knock his captain out, however first he needed to get close enough.

As it turned out, he didn't need to worry about that though, since a few seconds later, the glow faded from Luffy's skin, and the captain took a few steps forward before collapsing. There, he started to snore.

_Well, _Zoro considered, _that was easy._

* * *

It was finally the next morning, and all of the Straw Hats except Robin, Nami and Zoro were nursing massive hang-overs.

"My head..." Usopp groaned at breakfast, leaning against Chopper, who looked equally as tired.

"What happened?" Brook enquired, attempting to fix his broken violin.

Nami shot a pointed look at Robin, who smiled mysteriously, and confessed.

"I'm afraid that it was me. I spiked your soup last night with ethanol, in order to see your reactions."

The crew gaped at Robin.

"So it was _you!_ Damn it sis, that mast will take _weeks _to repair!" Franky complained loudly.

"I give my most sincere apologies. If there is anything that I can do to help, please let me know."

Sanji, who had been avoiding Zoro all morning, grimaced in indecision. What the influence of the ethanol had made him do was not fun, but he didn't want to berate Robin-chwan either. He opted for staying silent.

* * *

Some hours later, Nami gathered the entire crew, except Robin, in the Crow's Nest.

"Right, you guys. I'm sure you're not feeling too great, but I can ensure you that by doing what I tell you to, you'll all be fine. Robin may not have caused permanent damage, but she _has _pissed us all off. What I propose is that we do the same thing that she did to us."

Zoro nodded, agreeing with Nami for once. That woman needed to be taught a lesson. Besides, it would be fun to see what would happen to _Robin, _a woman who was always so calm, once they'd given her some alcohol.

"But Robin's our nakama!" Luffy protested, probably not having understood the majority of what Nami had said.

"She's the one that singed your hat."

"Okay."

And so, Nami began to explain her plan of revenge.

This was going to be _fun._

* * *

**A/N: Well, there we go. My first One Piece fanfic! I hope it wasn't too bad. This is gonna be a twoshot, so stay tuned for the second chapter: The Revenge. It should be up by tomorrow or the next day. This was a joint idea between me and one of my friends, and we both wrote our own version of it, so look out for her attempt too! **

**Please tell me all spelling and gramatical mistakes, English is not my first language :/.**

**This was inspired by Danisnotonfire's video: The Five Kinds of Drunk People. I watched it and couldn't help but wonder what kinds each of the Straw Hats would be.**

**CHAPTER 2 COMING SOON !**

**R&R**

**Anzhela D Asura**


	2. PART 2

**The Alcohol Experiment**

**PART II: Revenge**

* * *

Nami smiled tightly as she glanced over at Robin. The older woman was frowning as her glance grazed over the lucid crew. Nami knew that Robin was too intelligent to assume that they _wouldn't _attempt revenge, and the archaeologist had been on her guard all week. What Nami had to try and do was catch her _off _her guard.

And so, Nami had so far done nothing. No spiked meals, no drugged coffee, no unexpected encounters. She had not even so much as _mentioned _the incident. She had hoped that this would loosen Robin up a little, but made sure that she didn't underestimate the other woman's intelligence.

In actual fact, there were many opportunities that Nami _could've _taken. The archaeologist was strong, but no where near strong enough to overcome any of the monster trio, who could easily force her to drink the alcohol. One of Usopp's stars could easily be filled with ethanol, and so by merely being in its presence, she could succumb to the alcohol. However, if there was one thing that Nami did _not _want to do, it was loose the other's trust.

Sure, Robin had started the whole thing, but she had done it in a way clear enough to show that she did not want to harm them. Physically forcing the stuff into Robin's mouth or stealthily drugging her was another matter entirely. It had not been too long since Enies Lobby, and Nami did not want to awake unpleasant memories that were best forgotten.

And so, Nami had chosen her revenge to be in the most simple form. Simply _ask _her to drink it.

Of course, on any other day, Robin would immediately refuse, however, when she had done the same thing to _them_, little over a week ago, it would be hard to say 'no' without looking like a hypocrite.

Plus, Nami figured that Robin would be too shocked to refuse. Even in the unlikely event that she did, Nami could lay a guilt trip on her, or even think up a different method entirely. In any case, there was no doubt that Robin would pay for what she had done (namely, forced Nami and Zoro to endure the amplified insanity of the crew, have to _restrain _them and to try not to murder anyone after listening to the others moan about their hangovers).

* * *

Later that afternoon, Nami gathered all eight other Straw Hats together in order to confront Robin.

It was a rather amusing set up, actually, with Luffy cracking his knuckles, Zoro's evil glare and crossed arms, Usopp's moody expression and so on. Franky, however, looked reluctant, perhaps remembering his previous encounter with the raven-haired archaeologist.

"Oi, Robin!" Luffy called, from outside of the girls' cabin, where Robin was currently holed up.

"Captain-san?" the disembodied, but warm voice inquired from within.

"Open up, woman, we want to talk to you," Zoro growled.

A short pause, before the smooth oak door opened inwards, revealing the smiling archaeologist.

"Of course, swordsman-san, how may I help?"

It was a few minutes later, and the room now appeared to be set up like a hearing in court. Nami perched on the end of her bed while Robin occupied the only chair in the room. The male members of the crew sat awkwardly on the hard floorboards, which seemed to be a blessing to some, namely Brook, who had his head pressed to floor as he searched under the beds for any misplaced 'panties'.

Sanji, who was noodle-dancing at being in the bedroom of his precious 'Nami-swaan' and 'Robin-chwaan', cleared his throat and begun. Out of all the Straw Hats, Sanji had seemed the most reluctant to blackmail Robin into drinking the alcohol, however, after being reminded by Nami about his actions the previous night, namely his 'proposal' to Zoro, he had relented.

"Right, we have gathered here today-"

A snort from Zoro, at the rather clichėd saying, that was majorly ignored.

"In the picturesque room of the stunning ladi-" Sanji was cut off a second time by Nami's very purposeful cough.

"OK, as Sanji-kun was saying, we have decided that _you, _Robin, deserve a punishment for what you did last week. After all, it resulted in Sunny being damaged-"

A death glare from Franky.

"The loss of some extremely rare medical concoctions-"

Chopper hid behind Zoro under Robin's calm gaze.

"Brook's violin being damaged-"

Brook looked down sorrowfully – well they assumed he did, since he had no eyes.

"And general embarrassment for the rest of the crew."

"Oi, Nami, what about my hat?" Luffy shouted, pointing towards a perfectly mended hat.

"I _was _planning to just mention the things that had not been fixed, but yes Luffy, your hat too."

All eight other Straw Hats looked accusingly -or lovingly, in Sanji's case- at Robin.

"Do you have anything to say in your own defense before we begin?" Nami asked, eyes hard. Robin shook her head once, before leaning back steeping her fingers.

"Alright. We decided that the most fitting punishment would be for you to experience what we had to."

Robin sighed, unsurprised, but inclined her head to show that she accepted her punishment. Nami smiled triumphantly, before brandishing the small bottle of ethanol. Luckily, Robin had dropped this one after retrieving it from Franky's stomach fridge. Clicking her fingers, Chopper scurried forwards, holding a tall glass of water. In one smooth action, Nami tipped around a quarter of the ethanol into the water, diluting it just enough for it to be safe. As the clear liquid dispersed into the water, Nami handed it to Robin.

The older woman glanced down at the glass with distaste, but took it anyway, shaking the glass a little to spread out the concentration of the pure alcohol.

Knowing it would be better to just get it over with, the archaeologist tipped back the entire glass, swallowing immediately. Grimacing and shuddering as the liquid scoured her throat, Robin took a deep breath took a sip of her coffee to purge the bitter taste from her mouth.

Nami leaned forward in anticipation, holding her breath as she stared at Robin. The woman in question fixed her eyes on Zoro and, a little disorientated, attempted to stand. Swaying slightly, she stumbled over to where he was sat and collapsed next to him, head leaning against the bed post.

Nami, who'd never seen a reaction to alcohol happen this quickly, sniggered and leaned back to enjoy the party. Zoro however was quickly turning a vibrant shade of red, as Robin drunkenly shuffled closer, placing a delicate hand on his leg.

"Oi, woman, what the hell? Get off," Zoro quickly attempted to shove the older crew member's hand off him, with no avail.

"What's wrong?" Robin_ purred, _sliding closer, now leaning on the vastly uncomfortable swordsman.

Zoro and Sanji seemed to be having a competition on who could go the brightest shade of red.

"You bastard! Leave Robin-chwan alone!" Sanji shouted angrily, raising one leg into the air, ready to kick the swordsman.

"M-me?" Zoro stuttered, shuffling back as quickly as he could from the insane archaeologist.

"Come on, Zoro, you know you want me," Robin purred seductively, her hand creeping up his leg.

The other Straw Hats couldn't help feeling like they were watching some kind of nature documentary.

Luffy tilted his head sideways, "What's wrong with Robin?"

Nami held back her laughter, smirking as Robin advanced ever closer on Zoro. This was just _too _good.

"Er, little help anyone?" Zoro requested, his terror overriding his pride.

"No-one help him," Nami ordered smugly, hands on her hips. Not wanting to face the Navigator's wrath, the other Straw Hats looked away guiltily.

"Damn you, witch," Zoro growled, resorting to using Wadō Ichimonji's sheath to bat off Robin's hands.

Robin giggled and bloomed two hands on either side of Zoro. Each hand grabbed a bicep and before he had even figured out what was going on, they slammed him to the floor. Blinking stars out of his eyes, Zoro could do nothing as Robin started playfully plaiting his hair, sitting on top of his chest with her feet pressing down his arms, aided by half a dozen additional arms.

Zoro resigned himself to the incredibly uncomfortable and compromising position which he now lay in. He knew that he could probably get out of it by overpowering Robin, but not without seriously harming her.

Resting his head back against the floor, Zoro let his mind wander to all the possible types of revenge that he would get on that scheming witch of a navigator.

* * *

It was a good half an hour later when Robin finally, left Zoro alone, collapsing onto the floor, asleep.

Sanji let out a snort of laughter as he took in the swordsman's appearance- his usually short and unkept hair twisted into at least twenty tiny pigtails. Another defining factor was the large smile that had been drawn onto his face with a black pen, stretching from both corners of his mouth to the tops of his ears.

The permanent frown on Zoro's face seemed almost pained, even in sleep, although anyone could see _why._

* * *

When Zoro and Robin had- at last- both fully woken up, neither spoke a word to the other, although Robin's lips did twist into a smile when she had first seen the swordsman's 'new look'.

Growling quietly to himself, Zoro's mind was filled with just one thought:

_This really has been a shitty week._

* * *

**THE END**

**A/N: Yeah, I wasn't really pleased with how that second chapter came out, but I wanted to get this finished today, because its already three or four days late (sorry about that, I was away). **

**So, you now know what happens to Robin when under the influence of alcohol. I don't think Zoro really wanted to know, but heheheh, making him suffer is just **_**too **_**fun. It was a lot shorter that the first part, because this time I only had to do Robin's reactions to the alcohol. **

**Now I've finished my exams, there should be a lot more stories coming out, yay!**

**Thank you SO MUCH to the people who faved and followed, and especially to **Inori. D **and **DirectionallyChallengedKenshi **who reviewed. Also, thanks for anyone who also read, reviewed and faved my Oneshot 'Call Back later'. **

**Oh yeah, forgot my disclaimer in the first part: I DO NOT OWN ONE PIECE!**

**Just a quick message for **SP Hazelcat**: HA HA HA!**

**Please review, and read my other fics!**

**Anzhela D Asura**


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